in the absence of belief
took an inspiration from Paths by Niki, and from the day i learned that for some people; home is not always where the heart is but wherever it’s familiar — no matter how uncomfortable it is.
i dedicate this to you, you know who you are. i’m sorry we got lost, i hope one day our paths cross again.
God knocked on your mother’s window
afterwards he knocked on your father’s door
suddenly you were but fourteen years old and without a home
it was always cold, that home
but home nevertheless
it wasnt until the knock when you started to sleep on the porch
you non-believer, you
you were born defying
yet you believed in them, still
the people who brought you into this earth and ultimately onto that porch
you never stopped seeking
you never sought for me
yet i came anyway
like a gust of wind i waltzed in without a knock
i dont believe it was fate because i willed myself to get there
and i think for the first time you and i felt a force greater than ourselves
and for once you non-believer, you
believed
but that’s the thing with life, isn’t it
you always miss what you never had
so that august morning you left my balcony and you flew
for a second i saw a bird, with great big wings and great big dreams
then i felt you in the winds
i thought i finally had you
then the winds told me you found your way back into that porch, and they carried you back to a home that never was
you said you’re going to stay, just for a while, until you get your wings back
and for the first time i, a believer, i
withered
i was looking for god to punish him when he found me
he laid me down gently and told me worry not, child
he told me one day i will be picked and put on top
then he left to go knock on some doors, and for the first time i felt a force greater than us
so that lonely night in early august i fell asleep
and i dreamt of doors and windows and porches and the sky
your bag on the corner
you are still gone
